Tuesday, July 7, 2015

The final countdown

35 weeks today. I think this might be my last post until after the kiddo arrives.

I'm starting to really feel the pregnancy. Up until a few days ago, I felt fine. I didn't feel "pregnant" unless I looked in a mirror and saw my belly. I could still tie my shoes and touch my toes. My feet hadn't swelled into boats. I didn't have any aches and pains. I felt little kicks and punches, but they felt more like muscle twitches (thank you, anterior placenta for being a cushion). All the horrible things that other women told me would happen during pregnancy...didn't.

And then I woke up last Saturday. I was completely prepared to ride into work as usual. But then I noticed my finger joints really ached. And my back. And shoulders. And neck.  And what the heck is this really heavy thing around my midsection? Trying to turn over or even get out of bed was an ordeal. I wanted to go in one direction, kiddo had other ideas. And those cute little "kicks" and "punches"? They are full-on belly spasms. The alien chest-burster doesn't seem like a fictional character anymore.  And what is even happening to my belly button?! Riding on a bicycle just doesn't seem appealing at all right now. I had promised myself that when it stopped being fun, I wasn't going to force myself. So I think I might be done with bike commuting for a bit. MIGHT be. I'm still going day by day. I don't feel miserable, but my willingness to hop on a bicycle in the summertime heat & humidity has gone way down.

These last few weeks are going to be pretty busy. I'm still working full-time (currently scheduled up until D-day, although I might take some time off before). We still have some things to purchase for the kiddo (he has all the basics, so it's not urgent). I need to pack my hospital bag. Tour the Labor & Delivery wing at the hospital. Read up on breastfeeding. And there's some other big changes going on at the moment that I don't want to reveal just yet. But this is all happening so FAST all of a sudden, and it's getting so REAL. This kiddo will be here NEXT MONTH. No longer a theoretical concept, but an actual, real, tangible (screaming, crying, hungry) person that we'll be responsible for. Yikes.

Anyway, I got scolded again last week for riding my bike. At least this guy had the decency to "warn" me before lecturing me ("Sarge. I'm gonna warn you, I'm gonna sound disrespectful for a minute..."). He launched into a rant about how I was out of my mind for still riding a bicycle, have I looked in a mirror (because I'm not aware of my own pregnancy??) and blah blah blah. I was on my way out the door, so I didn't stick around to listen it. Just nodded my head, "uh-huh-ed" him and was on my way.

So I figured this post could be about how to handle "well-meaning" people that feel the need to voice their opinion on your choice to bike commute while pregnant. Actually, this could apply to bike commuting in general, pregnant or not.

  • Understand that you're probably not going to change their minds. People that feel its okay to lecture another grown adult about their choices are pretty firm in their own beliefs and opinions. So, if you do decide to engage, be prepared to either shrug and walk away or let them know that you heard them, but you don't agree. And then ride your bike anyway.
  • Be an example. I've found the best way to handle people who think bike commuting is "crazy" is to just do it. Show them it's not a big deal and that its completely normal by doing it. After awhile, they give up. And then it will seem strange to them when you DON'T ride your bike because they got used to seeing it.
  • What I hear most often from people that think bike commuting is "dangerous" is that its because of the "crazy drivers" out there. My response is usually "Aren't you a driver? Why not make it safer for me by driving more carefully?" Or with my coworkers: "Yup. If only there were people out there that had the legal authority to stop these drivers and enforce traffic laws...maybe when you are out on the street, and you see one of these "crazy drivers", you DO SOMETHING about it".
  • Ride your bike anyway.
  • I also point out that I've been in far more car "accidents" then I've been in bike "accidents", and that I'm more concerned about being injured in a car than I am being injured on a bike.
  • I let them know I've been bike commuting in a city for 5 years, and that I am very experienced and competent at handling my bicycle.
  • Ride your bike anyway
  • My bike commute is my daily meditation. It prepares me for the work day ahead, and then helps me decompress on my ride home. I need it. It keeps me sane. A sane me is a happy me, and a happy me is a more pleasant supervisor/coworker.
  • The exercise is good for me and the growing baby. It's actually ideal because the riding position distributes the weight in a way that it takes the load off of me, and encourages the baby to position himself correctly for birth. The motion is also nice for the baby.
  • Don't accept the invitation to an argument. If someone is being rude, it's perfectly fine to walk away in the middle of their rant. I don't mind having discussions, but I won't do arguments.
  • Ride your bike anyway

Being a pregnant bike commuter can be challenging because there's an element of sexism involved. When a person tells me that I'm "crazy" for the simple act of riding a bicycle, what they are really saying is that I'm not capable of deciding for myself what is safe/acceptable/healthy. I often get asked what my husband thinks of my choice. Then there is the "THINK OF THE CHILDREN" pearl-clutching that is usually a thinly disguised veil at controlling someone else's behavior (and not at all about THE CHILDREN). I could go on a whole rant about my experiences as a pregnant woman in the workplace, especially a traditionally male workplace, but this isn't really the blog for that. I'll just say its been.....frustrating. It seems that the only people not invited/allowed to define what a pregnant woman is capable of are the pregnant women themselves. Instead policies & procedures are created by people (usually men) who seem to think that being pregnant is equivalent to being injured/ill and refuse to acknowledge that pregnancy is its own uniquely female event. For instance, the 1978 Pregnancy Discrimination Act says that pregnant employees are to be treated as any other employee with a short term disability. Except...I'm not disabled. I didn't break my leg or arm. I'm pregnant. It's not the same. Yes, certain accommodations need to be made, but I should be the one to decide what they are. Anyway, I digress. Ride your bike. Don't listen to the haters.

The next time I post here, kiddo should be here. Forgive me if I go radio silent for a bit, because I might be a bit overwhelmed. See you on the other side!

Edited to add bump picture....just because:

My usual commuting outfit. Thank goodness bike jerseys stretch.

5 comments:

  1. Thank you for your pregancy biking stories! I had was pregnant with my 1st in 2012 - and there was way less information available then there is now - and there is actually some unbiased stuff out there to boot!

    Now I'm 12 weeks, and am back to bike communting after a hiatus because of illness/vacation/an extremely hot summer for us. I am hoping to bike into my 3rd trimester, but by then the snow and ice might keep me closer to home.

    Cheers and best wishes with your birth and new addition!

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  2. Congrats! I had to take a break during the winter months too. The important thing is to do what YOU are comfortable with :-)

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